Day 2

I started out the day going for my run, and I happened to run into a friend of mine. The second I saw her I was brought to tears which surprised me and her. I keep thinking back to the tears and wondering why I was so emotional. I saw her a few days ago at a party of mine. I had said something jokingly to her, but she didn't respond in a way that I expected. I had apologized in fear that I had offended her, but she brushed it off acting like it wasn't a big deal and there was no need to apologize. I think that I have been holding an uneasy feeling in the back of my mind that something was wrong between us. When I saw her I could tell that everything was fine and I think that is what caused the tears. They were tears of relief.

I have been very overwhelmed lately, and how I have handled it is ignoring everything (which isn't the best way to solve the problem). I think today everything came back to haunt me. I'm overwhelmed with housework, my business, family relationships, friendships, and church responsibilities.  I have been very unbalanced lately and have been putting all of my efforts to one thing. My business. I've been ignoring the laundry, bathrooms, phone calls, appointments I need to set up, and even cooking (which I typically enjoy). I'm not centered.  I'm, in fact, the complete opposite. I am the leaning tower of Pisa.

As I was running, I kept thinking of all the things I need to get done. I would go from mentally planning to being on the verge of tears. I have been in a huge slump lately and I have had a very difficult time finding motivation. I don't know what to do about it. Maybe  I just need to make a list. A to-do list -- not necessarily so I know what needs to be done, but just so I can mentally unwind and let it all out. Here it goes:

feed Avery
schedule meeting
finish laundry
clean the bathrooms
put the extra chairs in the basement
plan Ellie's  birthday party
make Britt's birthday cake
go grocery shopping
schedule visits
meal plan dinners for next week

That actually felt really good. I'm sure there is more, but that was what was on the top of my mind and bogging me down the most.

To end on a good note, here's a conversation I had with Ellie today...

Me: Where is my crockpot?
Ellie: Mom, what's pot?
Me: Well, you don't really need to know what pot is, but a crockpot helps me cook.
Ellie: I have pot.
Me: Really?
Ellie: Yeah, it's big and in my fridge and I make cake with it.

And with that, it's time to go feed Avery.